May Twelfth Two Thousand Thirteen

Mom,

Well it's been 5 months since the last time I seen you or talked to you. And I have to be honest I had no real intentions on talking to you again. But as time passes, things change and people do too......

For the past couple of weeks I've been really debating and battling back and forth mentally on whether or not to write you and if I did, what would I say?......

Well here's my conclusion,
You know ultimately I don't agree with the choice you made that day at the hotel that took me away from my daughter. But as the months pass by and each day I sit in my cell, I tell myself it's my fault I'm in here. It's my fault I'm not with my daughter and it makes no sense to be mad at you cuz you thought you were doing the right thing. Since I first got locked up when I was 12 you always told me "You do the crime, you do the time" and my Grandpa Trini always told me "A real man faces his problems. he don't run away......In this case I was trying to run away from doing the time.

I can't even begin to say how stupid it was of me to start doing drugs and especially under the influence while I was with my family, but if it means anything now......I'm sorry for involving you in any of this mess...I'm sorry for blaming you for any of my mistakes. I'm sorry for ever calling you a bitch and most of all I'm sorry for not being the son you've always wanted. Cuz I'm a straight fuck up! A spitting image of my dad and even worse I fell right in his footsteps and I couldn't break the cycle. Now my daughter has to live without me as I did my dad, but I only have myself to blame for that.

With so much to say with only a little piece of paper, it doesn't feel possible to be able to explain how much I truly am sorry. I don't want you for one minute to think "Well he's just saying this because he's locked up and he wants people to feel sorry for him cuz only part of it's true. I am saying this cuz I'm locked up but isn't that why people get locked up? SO they can have time to think about what they did wrong. I've got all the time in the world to think about what I did but I don't want anyone to ever feel sorry for me, cuz I can do this by myself. Honestly, I'm not even asking that you write me back I just wanted to let you know I truly do love you and no matter what I do or what the circumstances maybe, I will always be your son and you will always be my mom!It's taken the real man inside of me to forgive you for what you did so I'm putting a lot of faith with hopes that you forgive me as well.

My main purpose for this letter is to let you know I love you and I'm sorry for everything!

I truly do hope to hear from you again!

Love your son,
Taylor O.
xoxoxoxo


P.N. Happy Late Mother's Day and Happy late birthday too Grandma!! :D